My heart is having a hard time connecting this Easter, but I think it's making me all the more grateful for grace. It is Good Friday indeed.
Jesus died for me any way. He knew I wouldn't go into every Easter connected to him with this deep heartfelt connection with him. He knew there would be rough seasons where things were busy and hard and He knew that there would be different things I would connect with in each season.
I have friends that are struggling, my family is in a season I never expected and I am busy studying for the GRE (which is something I have been avoiding for years). I have taken time this week to sneak away to be with God and did a Journey of Worship that a church in my town offers, which I love because it usually does help me connect with Easter in a better way. This year is just different, and that's ok.
Jesus rode into Jerusalem as The King. He knew where he was headed, and he went anyway. He was stripped and his beard was pulled out. He was beaten beyond all human likeness and then forced to carry his cross to his death. He is the very God that caused those trees to grow...don't know if you've ever thought about that. On the cross as he lay suffocating in agony, he had to look his mother in the eye. His very mother, who bore him and raised him. Can you imagine knowing she is seeing you like that?
He did that for me...He knew I would be a horrible wretched person, who would constantly struggle with wanting control and comfort and struggle with unbelief....and He did it any way.
He had hosts of angels watching him. I am sure they literally stopped whatever it is they were doing and they watched him die. He could have said one word and they would have rescued him...but HE DIDN'T!
Jesus submitted himself to the worst agony imaginable (he was sweating blood just hours before, so his skin would have been extra sensitive)...and he was completely innocent in it all.
I deserve all that I get and instead I will get a reward. A GREAT REWARD!
OH GRACE!!
I can't really connect with the resurrection, but I am connecting with grace. I can't really connect with joy or happiness right now...but I am so grateful for the adoption I have and the inheritance I have because of Jesus' sacrifice. It's something that's true, but we are all thankful for his suffering...
