a hop, skip and Japan...

March 11, 2011  An 8.0 earthquake shook Japan destroying buildings, homes and lives. Shortly after, tsunami waves hit and caused even more unbelievable destruction. 

I am currently going through the process of trying to raise support to go out there and help this summer. I have had a heart for the Japanese people and nation since the second grade, and this is finally my opportunity to do something with that passion and love. 

There is so much cleaning and rebuilding that needs to be done, and many, many hands are needed to do this, but...

1 Sam 10:7b "do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you."  

...my hands will be busy with an assortment of things, as I help to clean up, but I know God will go with me to do much more than just clean up. I am going to clean the muck and the mire from the disaster in the hopes that god rescues people from the muck and the mire of sin and the fate of Hell.

Less than 1% of the Japanese people know Christ and this is a startling thing to let your mind embrace. If the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true (which I know it is...so prove me wrong if you don't), then more than 99% of the people in Japan are going to spend an eternity without Christ. They will be in the lake of fire and that is not okay.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” -Romans 10:14-15

I have decided that I want beautiful feet, and not earthly beauty...an imperishable beauty that comes when you allow your cracked and hardened vessel to be a tool for the living God to save people from the fate He saved you from. I want to skip, hop and jump to Japan because  I want Heaven to be booming with people and I want to obey my big brother's command...

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

and knowing that my big brother is with me gives me courage as I face the boldest thing I've ever done. I know that my Father will provide the money I need to get out there, and I know that there will be fruit from this faith jump.

I know that eternity will look different for my sacrifice of time and comfort and the sacrifice of money from others. This is an amazing opportunity to not only help the Japanese and share the Gospel, but to live out Unity and show the world what Christ's love and attitude can do.

Man, is it good to be the daughter of the KING or what?!!

God hugs (GRACE)

So, my previous post is mostly about how I am lacking in physical security, because God cannot hold me physically yet. Today was a great example of God hugs, though...

1. I saw 2 specific prayers answered for Symbio and it was a great reminder that God hears and answers me.
2. I saw evidence of 2 more answered prayers (Travis and Orion are indeed safely back home), which is a reminder of God's protectiveness over his children.
3. Actual physical touch, that I dearly need (a hug from Travis, Robin, Sam, Kate, Abra, Ashley, my mom, dad and brother...and numerous children)
4. Reminder of God's kindness as I sat with Chris and Kate in church today, seeing him safe is God's kindness.
5. Time with my local body is always a blessing.

"The LORD hears when I call to him." -Ps. 4:3b

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." -Ps. 18:2

"But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,my glory, and the lifter of my head." -Ps. 3:3


6. A great sermon reminding me of my Identity.
7.Time with my family is always a great reminder of God's love. I was give so much more than I deserved just in my family!
8. Time with Abra Sue...I absolutely love that woman!
9. Thinking about my job, God's past provision and the general spoiling I have as an American is a reminder of God's caring.
10. In the uncertainty of the future, knowing that God will catch me and is guiding my steps is a true God hug.

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." -Zeph. 3:17

God cannot physically hug me, and I am constantly devastated by that...often feeling like I am starving to death with lack of safe hugs...but He will not let my feet slip and He is never far from me:

"When I thought, "My foot slips,"your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up." -Ps. 94:18

Black hole hugs...

There are several things I am not good at...one is change, especially when it's a black hole situation (i.e. I know things are changing, but do not know what's going to happen). I have not yet mastered the art of submitting to Christ in these situations and still being active in decisions.

I am currently in the middle of one of these times, and am struggling. I may be moving in just over a month, or I may be moving mid August. I don't know what's going to happen, but I have to actively make decisions and let people know what's going on. This is frustrating, because I can't actually make any final decisions and can only prepare as best as possible...As I am a control freak, full of fear of the unknown, I over prepare for everything. I am on alert and ready to start packing, and my loved ones are one stand by for my departure.

I feel like there has to be a more calm, and peaceful way to transition and I am prayerful that I will someday learn how to do this.

I know that God will not let me fall. I know I will end up on the other side just fine, and in fact better off...but the in between is absolutely terrifying to me. As I've said before I like to know where I'm putting my foot before I step. In this case, I can see the other side of the tunnel, but God is simply acting as a small flash light through the tunnel to the other side...and I am scared of the dark.

I feel like a small child who needs her daddy to hold her through the scary things. Situations like this one are hard on me as a single woman who feels and interprets the world very strongly through physical touch. I physically need to be held and reminded that this is a safe tunnel to be in, because I am in safe arms. I can hear the verses and I can hear the songs. I can read story after story of God's faithfulness and believe it, but I do not feel peace or reassurance from it. I feel those things from touch.

As a single woman, I do not get this touch as often as I did as a child, and as often as my married/dating friends. I often feel alone and isolated, and it's no one's fault. The church has made boundaries and we simply do not reassure others with touch as much as some need. I completely understand why, because as a touch person, I understand how easily my heart can get involved in someone simply because of their affection...but at the same time, there has to be a balance.

This is why I am thankful for the Holy Spirit in others and for small children. Small children do not care, and they hug me every time I see them. I have gone weeks with my only hugs being from kids, but I have also had brothers in Christ give me hugs at just the right moment, and sisters rub my back exactly when I needed it most. I know that when I've been asking God to come and hold me and one of my Family members responds, the Holy Spirit prompted them to love on me, and it's really God's arms that are holding me...and in this black hole, I really, really need some strong, safe, hug reassurance.